Confident Birth + Breastfeeding Course

for kickass couples who want a
powerful & informed birth experience

REGISTER  TODAY

couple with newborn

You're in the right place if you're a couple* who wants...

--> to learn about birth + newborn care

--> information with an all-options, evidence-based, and zero-judgment perspective

--> an inclusive learning environment taught by instructors who are social-justice oriented and inclusive

--> to learn with timeline flexibility from the comfort of your own home

* we absolutely recognize not all folx** having babies are in a couple; while we celebrate there are all kinds of ways to have a family, the content is heavily focused on more than one parent and uses "couple" language

** "folx": an inclusive and gender neutral term used with intention to include all gender identities and variants

Say no more!  We're in.
couple with newborn

You're in the right place if you're a couple* who wants...

--> to learn about both birth + newborn care

--> information with an all-options, evidence-based, and zero-judgment perspective

--> an inclusive learning environment taught by instructors who are social-justice oriented and inclusive

--> to learn with timeline flexibility from the comfort of your own home

* we absolutely recognize not all folx** having babies are in a couple; while we celebrate there are all kinds of ways to have a family, the content is heavily focused on more than one parent and uses "couple" language

** "folx": an inclusive and gender neutral term used with intention to include all gender identities and variants

IMAGINE...


Navigating prenatal appointments knowing what you want to ask & discuss

Understanding the evidence & your options

Having full toolkits for both coping & support in labor

Having an experience where you feel like your individual needs & choices were respected

Being confident that you made decisions that were right for you

Having a solid understanding of how to take care of your newborn

Feeling empowered and connected as a couple

IMAGINE...


Navigating prenatal appointments knowing what you want to ask & discuss

Understanding the evidence & your options

Having full toolkits for both coping & support in labor

Having an experience where you feel like your individual needs & choices were respected

Being confident that you made decisions that were right for you

Having a solid understanding of how to take care of your newborn

Feeling empowered and connected as a couple

It's no surprise that many pregnant folx feel apprehension, overwhelm, and anxiety...


An insurance/hospital/care provider system that is difficult to navigate.

Prenatal appointments that are too-short and often rushed.

So many viewpoints on the "right" way to do things between medical care providers, family, friends, books, social media.

Add to that all the ways in which mainstream society fails to socialize us to understand female bodies (we recognize that not all pregnant people are women) and the hormonal/emotional/physical process of birth. Not to mention the ways in which we are socialized by tv/movies and popular culture to fear childbirth.

For those partnered with men, it is a reality that rarely are males socialized to understand the process of birth; many times the onus/expectation then falls on the pregnant person to know all-the-things - making this process of growing and having a baby less than a couple-focused experience.

And then there's the pressure to choose - before someone has ever even experienced contractions - how they're going to navigate labor.

What pregnant folx are often left with is a whole lot of (sometimes conflicting) viewpoints and information - with very little trust in themselves to know what is right for them.

What if it could be as simple as a few reframes?

What if it was enough....

To say how you feel matters

To let go of there being any "right" way to do this all

To value choice, autonomy, information, and options in birth in the same way we value them in other areas of reproductive health

To learn about this process together with your partner so you can both feel good as you birth and meet and bond with your baby

Get Started Today
Black couple w/new baby

Let's start with some common mindsets that can actually be recipes for disappointment

01

I'm just gonna go with the flow

Yes, “flow” can be extremely useful in the birth process. And without preparation, intention, and information-gathering ahead of time, it can be hard to keep your flow once you step into a hospital that has a whole lot of it’s own flow – most of which isn’t set up to support the flow of a hormonal laboring person and family.  

It is imperative that you do the work – now – of learning your options and working together with your partner to strategize as a family, so that when it comes to your labor, you CAN truly go with the flow.

02

We need to make a plan and stick to it

The notion of a birth plan often leaves folx feeling like it’s necessary to commit ahead of time to a certain distinct way of decision-making in labor (ie – I *will not* do any pain medication/ “give me my epidural ASAP”). The inflexibility of this is a setup for disappointment if things don’t go to “plan.”

A birth plan isn’t actually meant to be a plan for how your birth is going to go; think of it as a tool for communication with the medical team as to how you want to feel as you birth your baby – no matter how things unfold.  So you can let go of feeling like you have to commit to a particular pain management strategy in order to do your birth plan and focus instead on understanding all of your options. 

03

We'll just do what our doc/midwife says

We choose our care providers to take good medical care of us – 100%. That does not mean that we have no responsibility for our family’s decision-making. The evidence is clear on what makes for a "good" birth: having a voice and feeling empowered to confidently make decisions. True emergencies happen <1% of the time in birth; this means 99% of the time you will be in the driver's seat when it comes to decision-making.

Understanding the physical and hormonal process, learning about hospital protocols, having access to what the evidence says, as well as knowing about potential interventions will help you both to truly navigate your birth process yourselves instead of feeling in over-your-heads.

04

All that really matters is "healthy mom/healthy baby"

It’s a common (oh-so-dismissive) phrase: “in the end, what really matters is a healthy mom & a healthy baby”. Emotional and mental wellbeing IS a part of health. All families are striving for healthy outcomes – to imply that they are not is kinda bullshit.

How you feel (or are made to feel) about your birth stays with you for always.  Research has shown that even people with dementia and memory loss recall in detail how they felt when they gave birth.

05

Birth and breastfeeding are natural processes - so I'll know what to do

We don’t live and birth and parent in community.  We haven’t (usually) seen other families give birth and learn to breast/bodyfeed.  There is a lot of instinct and hormones that contribute to these processes – and they aren’t always enough in the ways in which we live in mainstream modern culture.

Sometimes people get lucky and birth and breastfeeding is “easy”.  More often, it takes some work – and learning about it now with intention – instead of in a panic as it’s happening can make a huge difference in how it all goes.

We're gonna let you in on a few insights gleaned from lots of families and lots of births...


You don’t need to decide with certainty how you want it all to go.

It's great strategy to set intention, and hold it loosely.

We're not meant to do this alone; information and support matter.

With intention and preparation, you can have an experience where you feel like you were an active part of the process, rather than having your birth feel like it was something that happened to you.

The newborn period can be just as challenging (or even more challenging!) than the birth – and there is just as much preparation you can sort ahead of time as with the birth.

You can become informed, feel connected as a couple, and set yourselves up to feel freakin’ fantastic as you move through this process of birth and learning to care for your newborn – even if it doesn’t go as you expected/hoped.

 

Yes, for really really real.

Couple w/nb

Class with Alli and Lea helped put our worries about all the scary what-ifs at ease!

- Nicole & LeMar, parents to Nyla

Introducing....

Confident Birth + Baby Logo

Confident Birth + Baby: a comprehensive 2-for-1 online birth + baby course for couples covering:

the hormonal & physical process of birth
medical tools & interventions
labor coping & support
breast/bodyfeeding
infant sleep & soothing
postpartum healing & relationship care

A course that focuses on evidence and options
And a deep trust that families will sort their best way
Taught by instructors who are
willing to be upfront about their values when it comes to social justice

****

Meet your baby as confident, prepared, empowered, and connected co-parents

All from your own home on your own timeline

Feel more connected and in control

Get Access Today!

Introducing....

Confident Birth + Baby Logo

Confident Birth + Baby: a comprehensive 2-for-1 online birth + baby course for couples covering:

the hormonal & physical process of birth
medical tools & interventions
labor coping & support
breast/bodyfeeding
infant sleep & soothing
postpartum healing & relationship care

A course that focuses on evidence and options
And a deep trust that families will sort their best way
Taught by instructors who are
willing to be upfront about their values when it comes to social justice

****

Meet your baby as confident, prepared, empowered, and connected co-parents

All from your own home on your own timeline

Feel more connected and in control

Device Mockup w/course website displayed
Couple w/baby

"Alli and Lea answered all our questions, and a lot of questions we didn’t know we had.

We felt a million times more prepared for pregnancy, birth and newborn care thanks to their course."

- Molly & Paul,
parents to Jack

Couple w/NB

"We expected to learn about the process of giving birth, but gained so much more than that.

Not only did we leave feeling empowered to articulate and advocate for our birth preferences but we also felt informed about the challenges and choices related to the newborn days as well.

The instructors are knowledgeable, engaging, and compassionate. We both appreciated their evidence-based approach to the material."

- Megan & Peter,
parents to Illeana

Couple w/nb

"We are forever grateful.

My husband and I finished the course feeling excited, informed, and supported.

Through these classes we felt empowered to make choices in our birthing preferences that were authentically us."

- Stephanie & Bob,
parents to Ollie

AN OVERVIEW OF THE MODULES

Each module has approximately two hours of content broken into 10-15m organized/easy-to-sort lessons with question prompts designed to process content and encourage conversation as a couple. Most couples move through about one module/week. And you can get through it all in a few days if you need to.

UNPACK WHAT YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW ABOUT BIRTH

✓ Mythbusting
✓ The state of birth in the US
✓ Institutional racism
✓ Oxytocin & the hormonal processes
✓ Early, active, & transition phases
✓ Pushing & the birth – and why does it (often) take so long?
✓ The third stage (birthing the placenta) & why your care providers care so much
✓ Brain wave states (ie what is “labor land”) & why its useful to understand, even if you’re planning to use pain meds

UNDERSTANDING MEDICAL TOOLS AND OPTIONS

✓ Decision-making with confidence
✓ Common interventions, evidence, options, & how to talk with your care provider
✓ Inductions
✓ Pharmacological pain relief options, & how to avoid additional interventions if medications are feeling like a good option
✓ Cesarean Birth – learning more about what to expect; family-centered/gentle cesareans
✓ True emergencies – when is birth actually an emergency

HAVING INTENTIONS AND HOLDING THEM LOOSELY

✓ Building a kickass support team
✓ Creating the ideal environment
✓ Physical and mindset strategies for coping in labor
✓ Partner support – skill building & mindset strategies so you can love on & protect your person
✓ Strategic positions – when your body is lined up well, baby has a more straightforward exit strategy
✓ Birth plans/preferences – how to do most of the thinking work of labor before labor even happens

UNPACK WHAT YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW ABOUT BFING & NEWBORNS

✓ The first hour after birth – ie newborns are so flippin' cool
✓ Understanding your newbie & interpreting early breastfeeding behavior
✓ Hospital procedures & decision-making for baby's medical care
✓ Meeting baby's needs (in a way that everyone is less stressed)
✓ Newborns look weird – truly; ie normal newborn appearance 
✓ First days: overcoming common breastfeeding challenges – how to get support, and keep it all in perspective

WE'RE NOT MEANT TO DO THIS ALONE - WORKING WITH BABY & GETTING SUPPORT

✓ Creating the ideal environment for success (hint- being at the breast/chest is about connection as much as about food)
✓ Tuning in to the biomechanics of breast/bodyfeeding – environment, instinct, positioning, & latch
✓ Partner support in the breastfeeding process – how to support each other and get everyone lots of bonding time
✓ Strategizing community & family - ie how to help the people who want to help actually be helpful
✓ Finding your local resources – connecting with a great baby-doc, where to find bfing support, & how to build a community of other parents

TAKING GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF IS TAKING GOOD CARE OF BABY

✓ Your healing body
✓ Postpartum mood disorders: warning signs, resources, and how to navigate postpartum mood disorders as a family 
✓ Working together to build a broader soothing toolkit
✓ Strategizing safe nighttime parenting (ie how everyone can get as much sleep as possible)
✓ Relationship care - a part of moving through this in a way that feels good is about enjoying one another as partners as well as co-parents 
✓ Self-care: an overplayed word, yes – and that doesn’t mean it’s not worth having some conversation about

Meet Alli & Lea

We are Alli (she/her) & Lea (she/her) of Lumos. We geek out getting to work with folx who are having littles - it's kinda our jam.

We’ve poured 25+ years of teaching over a thousand families and attending 500+ births as doulas into this course.

As humans passionate about how people learn (Alli was a teacher in her previous career and Lea studied educational sociology) we care a whole lot about creating content that is engaging and high quality.

And we believe that great social change can happen when families feel informed and supported as they transition into parenthood. Feeling positive and empowered as we meet and bond with our bubs sets a powerful course into parenthood - one that is aware, respectful, and holds seeds of great social change.

If a call would be useful to chat through more about the course - feel free to set up a call!

Schedule a Call
Alli Ryan & Lea Wolf
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BECAUSE IT MATTERS

Our Beliefs & Values

1. We believe that choice, autonomy, information, emotional wellbeing, and options matter as much in birth as they do in other areas of reproductive health.

The US is ranked 33 out of 36 industrialized nations in terms of maternal and infant mortality and morbidity, ie the system is broken.

We can't help but ask: why are we choosing allowing choice to be abandoned from us as we make one of the most significant transitions of our lives inside a broken system?

----

2. We believe that the reason Black and Indigenous women are 2-4x more likely to die in childbirth is due to institutional racism.

This is unacceptable.

We can't help but ask: what is our collective responsibility for addressing dismantling the systems that have allowed this reality to be created and to continue?

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3. We work our asses off to be anti-oppressive and anti-racist. We are anti-homophobic and anti-transphobic. We are anti-ableist. We are anti-fatphobia. We believe reproductive rights are human rights.

We are humans and we make mistakes and we stand up and keep on working.

We can't help but ask: why aren't we all asking more transparency of the businesses (both big and small) and humans we invest our time, energy, and money into?

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4. We believe that one of the most powerful ways to create social change in a capitalist culture is to choose to disrupt common beliefs about the ways in which "stuff" matters more than feelings/experience.

We are socialized by mainstream culture to dream of weddings, and to fear childbirth.

It's no wonder that the average wedding costs 38k and only 25% of couples take a childbirth class.

And yet the average couple spends/is gifted nearly 5K in baby gear/nursery furniture/gifts.

In a capitalist society, we've learned to frame preparedness when it comes to birth around products and items.

We can't help but ask: what is a feeling of emotional preparedness and confidence worth?

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We share all of this because we believe it matters.

Couple w/young baby

"This course was undoubtedly one of the best things we did to prepare ourselves emotionally and mentally for becoming parents.

The content was so informative, with the breadth and depth of what was covered was both fascinating and so helpful! We always looked forward to the next section, and appreciated so deeply the care and intention Alli and Lea brought to each topic.

We felt empowered to make decisions about what was best for our family, to advocate for what we needed, and to nourish, birth, and keep alive a small human!"

- Jenny & Will, parents to Reyzl

Expectant couple

How to truly know this course is right for you:

--> you believe in evidence and options

--> you want to feel freakin' fantastic about your birth experience - no matter how and where you choose to give birth

--> you're the kind of couple who wants to be in the driver's seat when it comes to the big experiences in your lives

--> you feel strongly about navigating birth and the newborn period as a couple in a way that feels like partnership

--> you're beginning to understand that someone else can't actually give you a "right" way to do any of this

--> you recognize there are a lot of systems in this world that are really broken - and you want to make choices with the pregnancy, birth, and parenting in such a way to thrive and in doing so disrupt those systems

--> self-paced, flexible, content accessed from your home sounds right up your alley

Expectant couple

How to truly know this course is right for you:

--> you believe in evidence and options

--> you want to feel freakin' fantastic about your birth experience - no matter how and where you choose to give birth

--> you're the kind of couple who wants to be in the driver's seat when it comes to the big experiences in your lives'

--> you feel strongly about navigating birth and the newborn period as a couple in a way that feels like partnership

--> you're beginning to understand that someone else can't actually give you a "right" way to do any of this

--> you recognize there are a lot of systems in this world that are really broken - and you want to make choices with the pregnancy, birth, and parenting in such a way to thrive and in doing so disrupt those systems

--> self-paced, flexible, content accessed from your home sounds right up your alley

We invite you to sit for a few moments and imagine how you want to feel as you meet your baby...


We could use our words and our experience to help paint a vision.

And we know that how you feel matters more than anything we could say.

We tremendously trust families. You know what is right for you.

We ask you to tune in to your own selves. How do you want to feel when you meet your baby? What do you need to do between now and then to help you capture those feelings as your reality?

If our course can help you to do that, we'll be honored.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

We've got A's for your Q's

We are busy folk - how much time is this going to take?


Couples typically move through a module a week. Each module averages 2hrs of video content - plus conversation/brainstorming/additional reading prompts.

You’ll have access to the course for full year - so you’ll be able to take your time if you need to.  All of the live Q&As will be recorded and sent to you, so you'll be able through those at your own pace as well. 

(And we've known couples to "binge" and do it all in a few days when they were in a time crunch!)

Your values section up there ^ sounded pretty fierce - how much of that energy is in the course?


Consent and clarity are important to us. We are clear about our values because the kinda folk who most often land in front of us appreciate transparency and care about where/with whom their dollars are being invested.

We do talk about the state of healthcare in the US and about institutional racism in the course; ultimately, however, the course is focused on the information, evidence, and options families find useful to navigate their own journeys.

How is this different than a hospital class?


Hospital classes can be pretty good places to learn about what to expect at the hospital. The kinds of folx who land in front of us often want to know more than what to expect – they want to know the evidence and their options, they want to have space to make their own decisions. That is rare in a hospital-based class for all kinds of reasons.

The other feedback we've heard from families is that hospital classes rarely go in-depth about breast/bodyfeeding and infant care beyond the very basics (families report a lot of focus on car seat safety and not shaking the baby - both important things, but not the end-all-be-all of parenting skills for most couples).

When is the right time to take this course?


It totally depends. 

It's about how you (both) learn best.  Are you folx who would rather have all the info as early on as you can so you can sit with it and mull it over?  Or would you rather it was fresh close to when you are due? 

The awesome thing about this format is that you’ll have access to the material for a full year – so you can take the class early and also know that you can do a “refresh” closer to your birth if that would feel useful.

This there a particular philosophy that underpins this course?

Not really – we aren’t a Lamaze, Hypnobirthing, or Bradley class. We are two humans with a passion for education (prior to doing birth work, Alli was a teacher and Lea was on track for academia with a focus on educational sociology) and the honor of having been invited to support over 500 families during their births. Our philosophy, if you were to call it that, is that we trust families and believe that families can feel good about their birth and parenting without needing to follow a prescribed “right” way of doing things.  

Y'all are doulas - doesn't that mean you're all about "natural birth"?

We have seen too many babies come out of bodies to think there is a right way to do it. We know a lot about the birth process. And we know there are all kinds of ways to feel good about how to give birth, and parent.

We don’t have an agenda other than helping families set themselves up to feel good about how they moved through the process.

Who is this course NOT for?

There are all kinds of class options for all kinds of folx, and we know that our course isn't a good fit for:

- folx who are good/bad, right/wrong kinda thinkers
- folx who get offended by swearing ;)
- folx in Madison, WI who want community-based classes (we'd rather see you in our Lumos Series live classes!)
- folx who are uncomfortable with conversations about racism/anti-racism, queerphobia, ableism, misogyny, reproductive rights; it's a small part of the course but a big part of who we are

Our goal isn't to be the class for everyone. We love the kinda folx who want evidence and options and who are invested in community-care (and who want/need an online self-paced option).

I'm not having a baby as part of a couple - is this the wrong course for me?

Will a whole lot of the content still be useful? Absolutely. Will you have to be okay hearing a lot about couples? Yes.

Single parents & poly families have taken our in-person classes; we are always delighted to teach to all families. One of the gaps we were observing in the online birth class market however, is a lack of approaching the material specifically from the needs of a couple.

So while we celebrate there being so many lovely ways to have a family - the language in the course is couples-focused. If you're cool with that - we'd love to have you!

Will insurance cover this course?

The gray answer is maybe. Folx have been able to get reimbursement by submitting receipts to their insurance company or HSA/FSA.

We also use this kind of question to ask what is it worth to you to feel confident and less overwhelmed as you’re meeting your baby for the first time? Why is it we – as a mainstream society – value some things (ie the average wedding is 38k) and not others? Kind of a forward question – AND one we can’t help but push at.
 

Our Guarantee

We believe in our course.

We’ve taught this course to thousands of folx over the years.

We’ve witnessed families flourish and reflect on how grateful they were to have done so much intentional learning and thinking and talking.

We have no agenda beyond getting evidence and options in front of families and trusting that they’ll find their own “right” way.

And, if for whatever reason, you start the course and it’s just not for you – we have a no-questions-asked 7d money back guarantee.

Money-Back Guarantee Icon

Confident Birth + Baby Course

A "2-for-1" comprehensive course for birth AND breastfeeding/newborn care

Options and evidence-based information for couples

Immediate access to all of the content

Get started for 4 monthly payments of $99

Sign Up for $99/mo

OR pay in full $397

Are you an Indigenous/First Nations family? Email us at hello@welcometolumos.com and we will send you a code to take the course at no cost.

Are you a member of any other group whose health outcomes are disproportionately affected by systemic and institutional racism/queerphobia/disability prejudice? - click here for other pricing options

Are you a white-hetero family who needs a more flexible payment schedule? Email us at hello@welcometolumos.com and we can chat options.